Embrace Your Asianness

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Ever since I relocated to San Francisco Bay Area from New York area last year, It has become one of my focus to guide Asian guys with their dating life. Why? #1, I care. #2, from talking to many guys and gals, including my own clients, I’ve concluded that there is a genuine need for some simple guidance. So I’ve accumulated the 10 essential tips below for eligible Asian bachelors who are in such need.

1. Embrace your Asianness.
Guys expressed to [...]

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Vulnerability

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Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

I think she hit the nail in the head with ‘vulnerability’. On a daily basis, moment to moment, we hide. Not only from strangers, but also hide ourselves from loved ones. Our real selves emerge all over the internet as [...]

Oldest Couple’s Advice

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I read this article on yourblackworld.net. This happily married couple of 85 years holds the Guinness World’s Oldest Living Couple Record. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104, they live in North Carolina. Below are my favorite advices taken from their answers to a happy relationship and marriage that survives hard times.

Q: Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?
A: We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did [...]

Stop, Look & Go

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Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, meditates and writes on “the gentle power” of gratefulness.

These are some of his thoughts that echo with mine. What’s your opinion on this talk? Do you think taking the time to be aware and be grateful is the key to peace, happiness and richness in the world? Below are excerpts taken from the talk’s transcript.

“There is something that we know about everyone we meet anywhere in the world, on the street, that is the [...]

Signs She’s Interested

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Q: “So what are some of the signs a girl is interested? I was at my friend’s party, and really wanted to talk to this cute girl across the room. We did exchange eye contact briefly. I was afraid of being rejected, thinking I probably wasn’t her type, girls like that go for gym nuts. So I never got the courage to walk up and talk to her. She’s with two other girls too, which was my excuse to myself.”

[...]

Lying About Age Online?

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Q: “Hi. I’ve tried online dating for about six months. I have been approached by more older guys than guys my own age. Should I lie about my age on my profile? Maybe just a few years? I know other women do. But I always felt it’s somewhat unethical. Now I’m considering it. What do you think?”

A: My first instinct is to tell you not to lie about age, because you don’t want to appear untrustworthy from the very beginning. On the [...]

Should I Ask a Guy Out?

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Q: “Hi Jing! I really like this guy who works at the bookstore across the street from my apartment. I’ve kind of flirted with him a few times (so I thought I did at least). But anyways, he’s always polite to me just like with any other customer, even when there’re only two of us near the register. I’ve never asked a guy out, and not sure if he’ll think I’m a freak or sounding too desperate.”

A: I say go for it. Think [...]

Why Guys Disappear?

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Q: “Hey Jing, is it normal for a guy to disappear after a great date? We met online, had a great first date, he was a total gentleman the entire night, walked me home, kissed me good night and parted. Never heard from him for a week. This has happened to me a few times already, I’m starting to think its something I did.”

A: Is it normal? No. Is it something that happens quite often with online dating? Yes. So the [...]

Where else can I meet someone?

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Q: “Hi Jing, I’ve been told I’m a good catch. But I have no luck with online dating or the bar scene, whatelse should I do? Are there other ways to meet potential dates?”

A: I’d look into why you have not been successful with online dating, or meeting someone at bars. Is it because your profile isn’t appealing or genuine? Is it because you are afraid to venture out of your group at bars? Or is it because of something else? Ask [...]

Timing of Communications

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We often hear the saying: ‘timing is everything’. In Chinese it’s called “时” (pronounced “shi”). It’s considered one of the three key ingredients to achieve victory – “天时地利人和”. Basically, “shi” means picking the right time to do something. Although Sunzi (孙子) wrote about the importance of timing in ancient warfare strategies, timing is indeed everywhere in our lives. Yet because we can’t see it, touch it, or feel it, we ignore it.

Take communications for example, we all agree it’s essential for a [...]

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Trust

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Sixteen years ago I came to the U.S. alone. Moments before I waved good-bye to my beloved family in Beijing, China, my dad told me: “remember daughter, don’t trust anyone…especially men”. I had always thought I left his words in the back of my mind, and never gave it a thought, only realized much later, subconsciously I took it to heart.

I had trust issues with men. Dad’s warnings before my departure may or may not have caused it. [...]

The Allure of Mystery

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So you’ve been dating this girl you met online. The first three dates went by smoothly, filled with fun activities and giggles. She seemed to be a great girl. You’re getting excited about its potential, and at the same time, you’re getting more and more comfortable with her. You felt you could share anything with her, and you did, a lot! Soon after, your texts got neglected, followed by your voice messages unreplied. Just when you thought all’s going well, [...]

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